The mediator contributes to the settlement process in a variety of ways. Perhaps most important, the mediator establishes and enforces procedures that are fair and even-handed, and that allow all sides the opportunity to be heard. Mediation also provides an opportunity to express emotions or frustrations that may be thwarting negotiations and to address these underlying concerns in a controlled but relaxed environment. Throughout the proceeding the mediator acts as an agent of reality, helping parties think through their positions end ensuring that all parties fully participate in fashioning any settlement agreement. Accordingly, mediation is used extensively in family disputes, particularly in those involving child custody issues. It is also used in business disputes and other cases involving ongoing relationships.

Change inevitably occurs during the crisis of litigation. A more cooperative atmosphere allows additional time and energy for constructive change. The parties' creation of the solutions to their problems is the critical component of mediation, and is but one of its many advantages over litigation. Solutions initiated by the parties can be more flexible than those imposed by other mechanisms, and also allows them to avoid the "win/lose" alternative of a court of law. (By the way, it is not unusual for both parties to feel as if they "lost" after learning of a judge or jury's decision). What is important to you may not be important to a judge. Mediation allows you to discuss what you feel is important. You may not have this simple luxury in a court of law.

The length of time needed for a mediation depends upon the complexity of the dispute, the commitment and communication of the parties and the orientation and limitations of the mediator. Many disputes can be resolved in a half-day session. Other cases may require multiple sessions.

Your case may be referred to mediation by a court. Courts order mediation for a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons is to unclog the court dockets. Due to the vast number of pending criminal and civil cases, delays occur and it may take many months (sometimes years!) to actually get into court. Mediation is advantageous to both the parties and the court system because delays are decreased, giving judges the time to preside over those relatively few cases that really do have to be litigated. Mediated cases are often settled much quicker and cheaper than long courtroom battles. Mediation helps to settle the dispute promptly, confidentially, and minimizes the cost of litigation . . . both financial and emotional. Yet another benefit in family law cases: research shows that parties who work out their own agreement get along better in the future. What greater gift could you give yourselves and your children?

Mediators encourage and often require the parties to seek independent counsel at some time during the mediation process. During actual mediation the lawyers may help with evaluations, clarification of issues, legal questions, development of opinions and consideration of the range of possible judicial rulings should the case ultimately go to court.